Today we will talk about the happiness of Healthy not giving a FUCK. In fact not giving a fuck can really make you happy, free and confident. So let’s see what we can do to stop giving a fuck.
There are few kinds of not giving a fuck:
– not giving a fuck about other people’s opinion – what they say or think about you
– not giving a fuck in the situations when you need to be confident, and not to be nervous
– not giving a fuck about things that are not important to you, but you still feel obliged
I will make 3 different videos and will give you a quick guide on each of them. In todays video we will talk about other peoples opinion.
When someone says «I don’t give a fuck» what does he mean?
He means «I don’t care at all» I don’t worry, I am not interested, I am not concerned about this.
In our imagination we have an example of a superhero, who doesn’t care what other people say or think, he walks into the room, and everybody immediately understands that he is the boss. He is so confident, even when someone points the gun to his face – he laughs at the bullets. He has 0 emotions when people criticize him.
You know what? It is very rare. Most people are sensitive to other people’s words.
In reality it’s not easy to not pay attention to what other people say. It is natural and normal to feel different emotions when other people say something about us. But there is a big difference between our emotions and our decisions.
1. Keep our emotions and decisions separated
So the tip number 1 is to keep our emotions and decisions separated. Don’t allow your emotions to dictate you decisions, because emotions will pass, but decisions and their consequences will last. If you feel you are overwhelmed by emotions – STOP. Don’t make any decisions or important actions at this point. Wait until you calm down, then think about this again, maybe you will get something positive out of this, maybe you will get some fresh view. And when you are ready – make your decision based on the reasonable arguments, not emotions, and don’t give a fuck what people say.
2. Develop your confidence
The tip number 2 is to develop your confidence. If you are not born superhero, you need to work your confidence out. Confidence is a skill, it can be created and improved. We tend to be dependent on other people’s acknowledgement – if other people say we are good – we feel good. If other people say we are bad – we feel bad. But this is not how it is supposed to work. You need to find confidence within yourself.
There are many ways to develop your confidence – I will probably record a separate video on this topic. But the fact is this: the more confident you are, the more you are resistant to what other people think about you.
3. Separate the constructive criticism from the negative criticism
The tip number 3 is to separate the constructive criticism from the negative criticism. If people criticize you to tear you down and there is nothing positive in that – just don’t give a fuck about it. Mean people say mean things because it’s their nature, it’s their problem, not yours. They want you down, but it’s not gonna happen, because you will stay strong. On the other side, if someone is telling you constructive critics, maybe you should listen to the arguments. I am not saying you need to do what they say, but you can take their arguments into your consideration. Constructive criticism means that someone disagrees with you not because he wants you down, but because he has a different opinion. It might still be wrong. If the criticism is constructive, it doesn’t mean it’s correct, it just means it’s sincere, it comes from the good intensions. We also need to understand that constructive criticism can be mixed with negative emotions, and negative criticism might include something constructive. Anyways, you will need to make your decision. If after all considerations you still believe that you are right – then do what you think is right.
4. Listen to the competence and ask right people for advise
The tip number 4 is to listen to the competence and ask right people for advise. Let’s say, if I need to make a decision about investments – I need to ask people who are competent in investments. My mother might have some opinion too, and I love her, but I know she has no clue in this particular subject. Or for example I am thinking of starting a youtube channel – I read thousand articles, watched thousand videos, spent few weeks on planning, and then I ask my friend for advise. And my friend wasn’t thinking about youtube at all, he doesn’t even know that it is possible to monetize youtube videos. What can he advise me? From his perspective it’s a waste of time. You see the point? I was thinking about something for weeks and I am asking for advise from the person who has never thought about this at all. It is very likely that his spontaneous feedback will be negative, and it might discourage me. Ask those people who know something about the subject, and don’t give a fuck about other opinions.
5. Realize that other people don’t think about you very often
The tip number 5 is to realize that other people don’t think about you very often. They don’t have time for that, because they are busy with their own staff. Even if I go to Television and embarrass myself – tomorrow nobody will remember, because other news will take people’s attention. If those people don’t care about me, if they are not interested in me, then why should I worry about what they think? They are not my close friends or family, they are strangers, so I don’t give a fuck about what they say. There is no point in trying to impress people we don’t even like.
I am 100% sure that if we learn to not give a fuck about other people’s opinion, we will be happier and stronger, and we will accomplish much more. I hope this video helps, if so – let me know in the comments.