How to Stop Overthinking?
Overthinking is when we think too much:
- About the past mistakes
- About the decisions which we need to make or which we just made
- About the potential future fails or problems or disasters
As a result, we feel hopeless, guilty, ashamed, uncertain and even scared. But today this is going to STOP!
I will share with you my thoughts and tips which help me to stop overthinking, and I hope it will help you as well if you have the same problem.
Firstly – we need to realise that overthinking is a big No No, it will only make us feel worse.
It’s very destructive for our mental health, it’s definitely counterproductive, because instead of using my time and energy for something good, I waste it on the thoughts that are leading me to the only conclusion that I am a hopeless idiot. By the way, this video is not a professional medical assistance, it’s just my personal thoughts about overthinking based on my observation of myself.
Secondly – overthinking will never help to solve the issue.
This is how you can identify that you are overthinking – if the thinking process leads to you the feeling of hopelessness, shame, guilt, “feeling an idiot”, “feeling that everything is bad and will be even worse” – those thoughts need to be stopped immediately.
Think about this for a second:
Thinking is only helpful if it leads to positive conclusions and actions.
I want to share a few tips that are helping me to stop overthinking, maybe some of them can help you as well.
The 7 tips to stop Overthinking:
Sweet distraction
When I notice that I started overthinking, I immediately try to switch to something else. Very often overthinking is connected with our emotions. For example, if I made a mistake and I feel bad emotions about this – this is normally when I start overthinking. And I need to distract myself and start doing something else. I found that It’s better to review our mistakes later, when our emotions will calm down.
Plan a specific time for reflection
I don’t want to spend the whole day or the whole week thinking about what I could have said or could have done. I don’t want to constantly think about my mistakes, because it will block me completely. However, if I made a mistake, I need to turn it into something positive, I need to take some lesson and experience out of it. So, It’s better to schedule a specific short time, like 20 or 30 minutes a day, when I can review my mistakes and think about anything I want. And when the time is up, it’s over, I stop thinking about it and switch to something else.
I Focus on what I can do here and now
Overthinking wants me to focus on my past or my hypothetical bad future. But if I do it – I lose the present moment. I should better focus on something that I can do right now – I can go for a walk or listen to the music, or do some physical exercises or cleaning or something else which will be more useful than overthinking and feeling bad.
I Focus on something that I can control
I cannot change the past – if it is done, it is done. I cannot control the future, because I don’t know what can happen. So, there is no sense to spend too much time on thinking about this, it’s out of my control, thinking about this will not change anything.
Again:
Thinking is only helpful if it leads to positive conclusions and actions.
It’s better to focus on something which I can do, which is in my power.
I can write down my thoughts in a form of positive conclusions or a lesson learned
For example, if I screwed up my presentation, I can spend the whole day thinking that I am a total idiot OR I can spend 20 minutes on writing my conclusions. It can be that making presentations is not my strong side, I need to do something else instead. Or maybe I need more practice or I need someone to help me with this. It’s not a shame to ask for a help – this is how we learn. I can become a great presenter if someone with experience will help me to prepare.
And the last one will be about overthinking our decisions.
I try to not spend too much time on making my decisions
Let me explain this. I remember when I was in college and all boys had some sort of a basic miliary training, we had shooting lessons. Our teacher told us that we should avoid spending too much time on aiming at the target. Because if we aim for too long, our hands will start shaking and we will not hit the target. Something similar is happening when we can’t make a decision – if we spend too much time in the doubts, we will only get more confused.
If you still have doubts, maybe you need more time to get more information. And this is not the same thing as “spending too much time on decision making” – you need to do good research BEFORE you start making your decision.
I accepted the fact that there is no perfect decision
Sometimes we can’t make a decision because we want to be 100% sure that it will be a perfect decision. We are afraid of making a mistake. But I try to avoid thinking that way. We make our decisions based on the information that we have in that moment, and we do our best to research. But we don’t know everything and we can’t foresee the future. This is why our decisions can never be perfect, and we need to learn to live with that. Just accept the fact that you can make a mistake. Accept the fact that you can make a good decision, but then something can go wrong which you couldn’t foresee, which was out of your control. The opposite also can happen – you can make a bad decision but then something good can happen and it will turn out for the better. This is called LIFE
I hope it helps, have a great day and see you soon!
